Time flys even if you are not having fun.

This is scaring me more and more every day. Sometimes it is hard not to be overwhelmed by what I have left to do in life and how little time there is left to do it. For me there are two major areas of concern.

First, my kids are growing up so fast. I know that sounds cliché but it is amazingly true. They literally change in appearance overnight. What scares me most is I feel I have so much to teach them and obviously an ever decreasing amount of time to do it in. Unfortunately this forces me to prioritize the topics of learning. Focusing on what I would call the basics. I want them to be hard working, honest, men of high character. At the same time I want them to be healthy which includes learning how to be healthy. Intermixed with all this teaching I know it’s important to have fun and build fun memories. So this has been parenting to me. Find a balance between fun and tutelage. All the while I want to teach them any vocation I can like programming and game design. When can I fit these in?

Second, I have a huge list of things I want to do before I die. It would be nice to do some sooner than later. I want to do all the normal things that would be on most people’s list. I want to go to Hawaii, see the Grand Canyon, see Mount Rushmore, See Washington DC, Go to other countries like Britain, Australia, and China. There are many more.

What is funny, almost cruel, is that as I become older my vision and understanding of the world increases. So does my desire and need to see and experience more of it. Ironically I have less time to do it in.

One day on IRC I was chatting with my friends about the phases of life and how they break nicely into 20 year periods:

1. In my first 20 years I seemed to have plenty of time but no money. When you are a kid and a teen you have no money, no real job, and often lots of time to play.
2. In my second 20 years I had plenty of money but no time. You are starting your career and therefore working hard so you have no time like you used to have. Also you are getting a real paycheck and for the first time you have real money.
3. Now I am starting my 3rd 20 year period. I have no time and no money. I have a real job but now I have two young kids. Which is great but they consume lots of time and money.
4. What will my next 20 year period bring? I imagine I will have time again. The kids scene will calm down allot and eventually no job I hope. We are not very good savers so I imagine I will not have any money. So this 4th stage seems like the first one.

The last time I went to the DMV to renew my driver’s license an interesting thing happened. I had just turned 40 and therefore was only at the beginning of my current mid-life crisis. These days the DMV is not so bad they have it all down pretty slick. Soon I was in the waiting area. In the center of the front row of 4 rows of 20 chairs. I was alone waiting for them to call my name.

When this very old but spry man came to the waiting area and sat down right next to me. Not near me. In the next seat. He could have sat anywhere the area was EMPTY. So I thought clearly he wants to talk and we exchanged some pleasantries. Then I asked him “How old are you?” He was 80 years old.

Wow I thought. Here I am pissing about how old I am and he is twice as old. So I asked him: “Which was better your first 40 years or your second?” After a couple of seconds he said “My second?” This cheered me up.

Since then I have ask this question of several older people. The answer was always the second half. Will I be able to do some of the things on my list? Probably, I hope. Again it’s a matter of prioritization.

So I implore you. Carpe Diam!